2017年3月29日,星期三

亲爱的少女自我


由于经历了两者的ASD诊断过程 L 和 O, I have begun to realise things about my younger self. Speaking with O的心理学家,我已经变得更加了解自己十几岁时的感受。

And it is all making sense now - how I used to think, how awkward I felt, how little I understood about others behaviour 和 language, how badly I wanted to fit in....

When I said to O's psychologist that I had a hunch that perhaps I was on the spectrum, her reply was "I 能够 spot an Aspie 什么时候 I see one!"

好吧,那就不需要正式诊断了!

Knowing what I know now, would have been incredibly useful as a teenager 和 if I was able to write a letter 和 send it back in time to my teenage self to help that person get through life, this would be it......


亲爱的我,

它被称为阿斯伯格斯。

与阿斯伯格斯一起度过少年 is hard 和 unfortunately it will get harder but it will be all work out in the end.

You think differently 和 there is nothing wrong with that. Others say that you are weird but you're not. You're just different 和 that is okay.

Different is good 和 do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don't try to fit in, just be yourself. There are people who like you for who you are. Chances are, they are also struggling to fit in 和 trying to find their way in the world.

如果周围的人嘲笑你,那不是你的错。他们就是那个问题。他们是自卑的人。 他们只是想让您失望,让自己感觉更好。

As much as words hurt, please try not to let their words get to you. Let the words roll off your back like water rolling off a ducks feathers. This in itself is a skill to be learnt 和 it just takes practice.

Your anxiety, while not normal, is typically common in individuals with Aspergers. And guess what, others around you also suffer from anxiety, they're just better 在 hiding it. Ask for help, let people around know that you are struggling. You will get through it, but trust me it is easier 什么时候 you have others helping you. Put aside your pride 和 ask for help, you will feel much better in the long run. The mask 变得很难维护。

You struggle to understand social situations, emotional 和 non-verbal cues 和 that is also common with Aspergers. Look it up in the library 和 read as much as you 能够 about Aspergers, you'd be surprised just how much there is to learn.

Yes some of the anxiety 和 the struggles you are experiencing are simply part of being a typical teenager, but most of it is being an Aspie. But in saying that, this isn't an excuse 和 you will need to learn how to cope 和 manage.

Keep in contact with those who are accepting of who you are 和 understand you. Their support is vital to your emotional well being. Seek out like minded people 和 form your own pose.

There are others like you - Temple Grandin is one. The classical musicians 和 the scientists who you admire are all thought to have Aspergers. These people did great things in this world. You too 能够 和 will do great things. Be proud of your achievements.


保持高目标,你会到达那里。

When you are older 和 have children, you will have an advantage as you will understand what they are going through 和 you will be able to assist them to understand the world around them. Long time family friends will tell you just how alike you 和 your daughter are 和 it all starts to make sense.

生活会变得更艰难,然后变得更轻松。

But you turn out fine, so please stop worrying so much, relax 和 enjoy the ride.

2017年3月22日,星期三

为什么要成为倡导者既困难又有益。


I have always been one to stand for what I believe in 和 back people 什么时候 they need me too. Even if the situation will put me between a rock 和 a hard place 和 potentially make life uncomfortable, I 能够 be counted on.

Having two young children who are both on the spectrum has meant that I have become their advocate 和 I feel as though I am constantly between that rock 和 the hard place. And let me tell you, this advocate business 能够 be brutal 和 it is hard. Really hard.

As a parent it is our job to make the decisions that ensure our children's health, well being 和 best interests are looked after. Add being an advocate to that 和 the parenting gig becomes a whole lot more complicated.

There are advocate agencies that 能够 do all the hard yards for you but 在 the end of the day, they get to go home. They get to switch off 和 relax. Their invested interest in you 和 your family is purely a financial interest 和 not necessarily a personal interest.

Being a parent as well as my 小超级英雄 advocate means that I don't switch off, not fully anyway. I am thinking 24/7 about how I 能够 best help my 小超级英雄. It is much more personal 和 much more intense.

As an advocate you have to learn the jargon 和 talk the talk. You have to learn the correct terms to use 什么时候 speaking with funding bodies. You have to try 和 predict your child's future needs. And 在 times there is a very fine line between accommodating your child's needs 和 enabling their helplessness.

作为倡导者,您必须做出一些非常激烈的决定。可能影响我的超级英雄未来的决定。我们也申请哪个资助机构?哪种疗法最能帮助我的小超级英雄?哪种疗法提供者可以为我的小超级英雄提供最佳疗法?上什么学校?支持人员还是没有支持人员?我们需要哪一位专家 推荐给?而这样的例子不胜枚举。


As an advocate people 能够 become peeved 在 you very quickly 和 on a regular basis. I have one particular person 在 the moment who I am fairly certain is avoiding me 和 my phone number! I am sure that every time she sees my number come up on her phone she starts thinking "goddammit, not her again, what does she want now?"

成为拥护者的确会使您不喜欢某些人,这会使您在为孩子而战时感到不舒服。可能引起愉快的谈话 以惊人的速度升级。 有时我确实觉得自己很烦,我是一个举止过度,反应过度的父母 当我需要再次联系代理商或学校时。作为倡导者,您必须一遍又一遍地处理事情,并且必须打电话 and send emails that no parent wants to make. You have to question decisions that other people make for your children 和 this in itself 能够 cause friction.

Being an advocate is tiring, emotionally, mentally 和 physically. I am constantly doing research into different therapy 和 sensory aids, making phone calls, sending emails, constantly evaluating everything. It is exhausting 和 I have to constantly remind myself to take time out for me.

Being an advocate feels like you have to break down barriers on a much too regular basis. It honestly feels like a minefield 和 some days it feels as though we take one step forward 和 three steps backwards. There is always a hurdle to climb over or a hoop to jump through. And then 什么时候 you finally think that you have got it right, boom, the goal posts shift 和 you have to start all over again.




成为倡导者也是一种非常有益的经历。

You get to meet 和 make friends with some fairly 令人敬畏的人。 不会三思而后行的人。花费大量时间来帮助我们的人们,因为他们真的很爱 我们的小超级英雄。 These people become part of your inner circle 和 you 能够 count on them. Their invested interest becomes a more personal one.

成为倡导者意味着在某些情况下,我们已经能够为  funding 和 others will benefit. We've done the hard yards so that others don't have to. They 能够 learn from our experience.

成为倡导者意味着我能够将我的知识传授给其他寻求帮助的人。我们 have the opportunity to educate others 和 to raise awareness of autism. Yesterday I took O to a fabric shop to purchase some fabric to make her sensory body sock. 当店员问我们在做什么 fluro pink spandex, O 和 I were able to introduce her to a new concept 和 the shop assistant 现在知道什么是感官袜子,如何 it actually works 和 the benefits of it.

成为倡导者意味着我已经看到我的小超级英雄取得了最惊人的进步。我已经走了 in such a short 多少时间。我爱 watching O maturing in how she handles different situations 和 how she is now wanting to help her friends who suffer from anxiety.

As an advocate I have become mentally stronger, tougher 和 more stubborn, if that is possible! I have 了解更多关于我自己的信息。我了解到我有能力应付困难的情况。我了解到无论我们有多低 旅途可以成为,我将永远尘埃 myself off, get back up 和 keep going.

It would be easier 和 quicker to give in 和 I 能够 see why people do just that. But then what sort of future would that leave for my 小超级英雄?


What sort of an example am I setting to my 小超级英雄 by giving in?

我希望我的小英雄们意识到为正确而战是可以的。 O has 已经开始通过在朋友被排斥或被排斥时支持她的朋友来做到这一点。我希望我的小超级英雄相信他们能够胜任更多。而且即使困难,令人恐惧或筋疲力尽,他们仍然能够继续前进。

Why do I continue being an advocate? Because that is my job as a parent. Every child deserves the best 和 every child needs an advocate until they find their own voice. It is my job as a parent to ensure that my 小超级英雄 voices are heard.

Being an advocate is hard but I will keep being the advocate for my 小超级英雄 for as long as they want 和 need me to. I wouldn't change anything for the world.

成为倡导者虽然很辛苦,但所获得的回报远远超过了困难时刻。

2017年3月19日,星期日

我有一个困境.............


我们目前有一个两难的困境 at superhero headquarters, O有 started using her ASD diagnosis as an excuse for almost everything. "I don't like noise because.......," "I 能够't calm down because......," "I'm using this voice because...," 和 so on.

我们担心发生的一件事是,任何一个小超级英雄都将其ASD诊断视为没有尽力而为的借口,或者将其ASD诊断作为摆脱某些行为或某些行为的理由。

Using a disability or a diagnosis as an excuse is one of my pet dislikes. Oh I 能够't do that because I have x, y or z. This really doesn't sit well with me.

I went through high school with a young lady who was blind. Her sight impairment did not stop her from learning to play the bass guitar - she was simply amazing. A music teacher would give her the sheet music translated into braille 和 she would be able to learn it in one go. Her sight impairment did not stop her from graduating year 12 在 the top of her class. In fact 什么时候 she graduated, she received the highest marks out of all the year 12's in the state for that year! This young lady could have easily said that she couldn't do it, but she didn't.

残疾不应阻止您尽力而为,您可能只需要加倍努力或绕道走几步即可到达想要去的地方。残疾是个人可能 表现出某些行为或花更长的时间去他们想去的地方,但这当然不能成为他们行为的借口。

An ASD diagnosis explains why both my 小超级英雄 have meltdowns however they both need to learn that meltdowns are not an acceptable behaviour.


So what 能够 we do with miss O?

Well, generally, 和 it sounds quite harsh, but 我们只是忽略声明中的“因为我有自闭症”部分。通过承认声明的这一部分,我们加强了她关于自闭症将 阻止她尽最大努力。

Both my 小超级英雄, 在 times, struggle 什么时候 there is a lot of back ground noise however noise is a part of life. Throughout life we all come into contact with noisy environments, they are not something that 能够 be totally avoided.

What we 能够 do is provide the 小超级英雄 with strategies that they can use to reduce the impact of various situations on them. We want to be able to empower them both with skills 和 strategies that they 能够 take with them through life.

We talk constantly with both 小超级英雄 about what they are capable of doing, of their strengths 和 we try very hard not to focus on their weaknesses. And we ask others to do the same.

除非绝对必要,否则我们不会对他们的ASD诊断做出太大贡献。对于L这是
usually 什么时候 his ASD becomes a safety issue. For O it is usually 什么时候 we are explaining her anxiety.

In the last few weeks we have had many tantrums, as opposed to meltdowns, 什么时候 O有 disagreed with what we've had to say about her autism 和 the fact that it isn't stopping her from trying her hardest. It is her fear of failure which then sets off her anxiety. This is something that we are working very hard to help O to overcome. And I am sure that there will be many more tantrums to come before O comes to the realisation that she 能够 overcome her fears.

I 能够 see that in some situations it would be easier just to say "nope 能够't do it, not even going to try, I give up." But this is not a scenario that you will see in superhero headquarters. I will always encourage my 小超级英雄 to try their hardest, to test their abilities 和 reach for the stars.

他们的ASD不是弱项,而只是不同的能力。

2017年3月16日,星期四

小超级英雄 和 their friends....

Just recently I have been able to see the interactions between my 小超级英雄 和 their friends in various situations 和 it has truly been wonderful.


O一直是一个社交小英雄,她很容易结交朋友。无论我们身在何处,无论走到哪里,她都会总是说“我交了一个新朋友”。她经常不知道他们的名字,但她会很高兴和他们一起玩。 O并不总是了解社交情况,因此保持好朋友圈一直是她的棘手部分。

L on the other hand has always struggled to make 和 keep a good group of friends. It is only in the last 16 months since L has begun to understand others emotions that he has really leapt forward in leaps 和 bounds on the friendship front.

So here is a letter to the friends of my 小超级英雄.

Please don't ever change. You all bring so much joy to my 小超级英雄, they are both so happy to talk about their friends 在 school 和 在 OSHC.

你就得到他们。您了解他们与众不同,您已经拥抱了他们 unique differences and yet you overlook their differences 和 only see what you have in common with each other.

I hope that you know just how much your friendship really means to both O 和 L. Even though they don't always express their gratitude to you, they really do love spending time with you. I 能够 see this 什么时候 they scan the classroom, the playground, the OSHC hall for you 和 their faces light up 什么时候 they see you.

When you play together, my 小超级英雄 personalities shine through, their anxiety lessens, they 能够 be themselves 和 I am able to get a better look 在 who they are 和 who they will be in the future.

When L is having a rough day, you understand 和 don't push him. You let L come to you 什么时候 he is ready 和 there is no judgement.

When O is struggling with the noise around her, you remind each other to lower your voices 和
什么时候 她正在为自己的焦虑而苦苦挣扎,你在她身边,总是向她保证一切都会好起来的。

Each of you have so many different qualities 和 you are all delightful little humans.

And 什么时候 you have questions about my 小超级英雄 behaviour, you are kind towards them 和 it is obvious that you really want to know the answers so that you 能够 understand them. Then 什么时候 you find out the answers, you take it in your stride 和 take the information on board.


年轻的H,你让我对L的保护如此高兴。L几个周末前受伤时 and Daddy superhero joked about cutting L's thumb off, you put a protective arm around L 和 said "no he needs his thumb, he just needs a band-aid." H you show compassion beyond your 5 years.

And young R, you are such a character 和 you are just a gorgeous little boy. You understand L 什么时候 he is having a rough morning 和 you just let him be. You let L crawl all over you 和 you never complain, or not out loud anyway! You let L give you a hug goodbye every time he is leaving, thank you!

L, you seem so mature beyond your 5 years. You've always looked out for my L 在 kindy 和 now 在 school. You are the one that reminds L that he needs to put on sunscreen 和 his hat because "remember no hat, no play L!" And then 什么时候 my L didn't want to put his hat on, you sat under the verandah with him to keep him company so that he could look 在 what you were holding.

Little miss G, you see L for who he is 和 this makes me very happy. "But he looks like me, he's normal." Last year, L always wanted to make sure that you were okay 什么时候 you were having a rough day. He used to become very worried about you 和 he misses seeing you every day. "Where my G?" he asks on a daily basis!

Little miss H, I am told by everyone, that you have been taking L under your wing 在 school 和 在 OSHC to the point that O有 been getting upset 在 home "but L won't play with me 在 OSHC, he just wants to play for H!" But O is also secretly pleased as it means that she 能够 play with her friends!

Little miss P, did you know that L is keeping an eye for you 在 school? L tells me "I look for P 和 I 确保她没事!”你们两个可能没有多大关系,但L记得您!


Miss L, 什么时候 O was having a very rough morning 在 school a few weeks ago, you really stepped up without being asked. I'm not sure if you realised just how much you helped O to calm down. O still talks about how much you helped her. Did you know that the play dates that you two have had these last couple of weeks are the first ones that she has had, that I haven't had to come 和 collect her just after they've started. You are also the first friend that O有 felt comfortable to stay with 在 your house without me being there. That is a huge thing in regards to O's anxiety!

Miss E, you 和 O are so much alike 和 you both just get each other. You have so much in common 和 I truly think that is why you two get along so well. O is always concerned about you 什么时候 she hears that you've had a rough day.

Miss C, I think O有 found a mother hen to look after her 和 I love that. You were the one to remind everyone to keep their voices down 什么时候 O was struggling with the noise level. Thank you for taking that information on board.

To G, G, T, G, G, M, A, A, A 和 S (O has lot's of friends whose names start with the letter G 和 the letter A!) O may not remember what school work she does each day but she is able to tell us who she played with or who kept her company or who she has helped 什么时候 you've been having a rough day. She values each 和 every one of you.

Master W, you are the only male friend that O constantly talks about. She loves playing games with you because she understands the rules! Thank you for accepting who she is 和 making her feel welcome 在 school 什么时候 she first started in 2015. You don't know how much you assisted O to settle into 新的学校环境!老实说,您是一个巨大的帮助!

The fact is, you all probably have no idea just how much both O 和 L will need your friendships in the coming years. Right now being friends is relatively easy. You all have your ups 和 downs, but staying friends is relatively stress free. As you enter upper primary 和 high school, friendships 能够 become stronger but they 能够, 在 times, also become harder to maintain.

As you become older, peer pressure begins to come into play more 和 some of my 小超级英雄 mannerisms that are okay to you now, may begin to cause embarrassment. Other children may make fun of my 小超级英雄 mannerisms 和 在 some stage you may need to chose whether you want to stand by O 和 L or bow to the peer pressure from others.

I 能够't make promises for what will happen in the future but what I 能够 promise is that you will always be the ones that O 和 L will remember 和 seek out. Whenever there are new faces around them, you are the ones that O 和 L feel comfortable with. O 和 L will always have your back 和 they will stand up for you 什么时候 you need someone to stand up for you.

You all show compassion 和 a level of maturity that is beyond your young years. I hope that you all keep thinking long 和 hard about what it means to be kind. I hope that you all keep choosing to do the right thing especially 什么时候 the feelings of other children are 在 stake. I hope that you all keep being yourselves because you really are all beautiful children. You all have very kind hearts.

I know that I have doubted my parenting skills 在 times 和 I am sure that 在 some stage your own parents have probably doubted their own skills too. But your Mums 和 Dads are doing a wonderful job 在 raising compassionate kind thoughtful children.


My 小超级英雄 friends, thank you for being you.

2017年3月12日,星期日

参观海滩

每年海边雕塑 科茨洛 is held on the gorgeous 科茨洛 Beach. We all love the beach 和 Daddy superhero 和 I love art, so it combines all our interests. Every year we make plans to go but never actually end up getting there, we're always way laid with other plans or prior commitments.

After baking bread this morning, we decided that we would brave the nasty looking storm clouds 和 do a spur of the moment drive to 科茨洛. All the way to 科茨洛 we heard the obligatory "are we there yet?" 和 "how much longer?" 当我们到达时,我很高兴我们做到了。


When we got out of the car, both O 和 L saw the beach 和 were off. And then they saw the tee pees, I could see their brains ticking over as we walked down the pathway as to what to do first. Ocean or tee pees!




O 和 L jumped straight into what looked like a bean bag before realising that they weren't that comfortable after all. They were then off to the water's edge to collect shells 和 play in the water.

We slowly started meandering down the beach, Daddy superhero 和 I tag teaming to look 在 the sculptures while the little superheros played on the beach. The sculptures didn't disappoint, they were amazing, some even caught the 在 tention of my 小超级英雄.






L was very excited 什么时候 he heard 和 saw some Black Hawk Helicopters "Just like cousin Mikeys!" Obviously not part of the exhibition but still very impressive.


But in the end the beach, water 和 shells won out. The little superheroes had a ball. They dug holes 和 channels, they built sandcastles, they chased the waves 和 collected shells. They had sand in places where sand probably shouldn't go, but they had fun.











L was convinced that there were BIG sharks in the water 和 collected a handful of sand that he 被拖到海滩 他拼命想喂这些鲨鱼!

我们甚至坐在一个雕塑上都可以拍摄全家福,尽管说服O允许我们 did take a while!



值得庆幸的是,降雨一直持续到我们回到车上开车回家为止。

如果您问L即兴驱动器的亮点是什么?当我们从车上走来寻找午餐时,听到了鲨鱼警报器,但他对自己看不见鲨鱼感到非常失望!下次哥们,下次!

欢迎来到超级英雄烹饪学校!

Both of my 小超级英雄 have aversions to particular foods but we are very fortunate that they both are reasonably good eaters.

Whether we are cooking in the kitchen or outside on the barbeque, one or both of the 小超级英雄 能够 be found hovering around wanting to help mix or offering to be a taste tester.

From a young age O有 always been interested in helping in the kitchen 和 she's always expressed her desire to learn how to cook. She received a kids cook book for her birthday a few years ago 和 she is constantly picking recipes out of it to cook with us.

L has always been intrigued by cooking shows 和 he just loves food in general! Other than superhero shows 和 movies, he will sit 和 watch a cooking show!

就在最近,我们一直在观看一个儿童烹饪节目, 设在美国。看完一集L对我们说:“当我变大时,我去 on a cooking show." He has big ambitions which is wonderful. O then chimed in 和 asked 什么时候 could they help to cook dinner.

So on Friday afternoon on the way home from school, Daddy superhero took both 小超级英雄 to the shops 和 together they picked out the ingredients to make several meals over the weekend.

On Saturday I was lucky enough to have a night off from kitchen duties as Daddy superhero, L 和 O took over 和 made hamburgers.

在他们做汉堡包的过程中,在餐桌旁发生了一些有趣的谈话:

"How is mince chopped?" 和 "Why 能够't I eat the egg shell?" 和 "Ooh that feels disgusting!" We need to refine L's technique for cracking an egg, there were lots of little bits of egg shell that needed to be retrieved from the mince!


Both of my 小超级英雄 had a go 在 using the vegetable peeler 和 the grater 和 no one lost any fingers!




L将所有成分混合在一起,得到了L的许多“哦,令人作呕”的评价!



The end result were very delicious hamburgers which O picked 在 和 L refused to eat! If we had mushed the hamburgers up 和 called it mince, they would have eaten it for sure! 厌食,哦!

今天早上,爸爸超级英雄被一个小声音惊醒,说:“这是在做面包的时间!”我迫不及待地想要做面包,她被卡住了,所以我错过了拍照,该轮到我睡了!





没有什么比新鲜的早餐面包更好的了!

When Daddy superhero asked L if he wanted to make his bread he replied with "no, wait for Mummy!" 和 I was promptly woken up.


As L was pouring the flour into his bowl, he dropped the bag 和 a huge flour cloud rose up. L's response was "Cool, I like a scientist!"






Both of the 小超级英雄 were fascinated by the rising dough! They wanted to know all the ins 和 out of how yeast helps the dough to rise.



L's bread looked great as well but no photos were allowed. Both the 小超级英雄 did a wonderful job with helping with the hamburgers 和 the bread making. Apparently the next recipe that O wants to have a go 在 is a chocolate sponge cake.

在整个过程中,爸爸超级英雄并没有一次失去冷静!