2017年1月28日,星期六

Did 您 know ...... my boy is not naughty.


To 的 elderly man 在 的 supermarket last week who 至ok it upon himself 至 growl 在 L and 的n tell L that he was a very naughty boy. Do 您 realise just how sacred you made L feel?

To 的 mother who openly ignored my 儿童 as he was trying 至 say hello 至 您 一个d your 儿童 一个d who 的n said 至 a mutual friend “that L 没有’t have Autism, he 顽皮,他的母亲可以’不能控制他。期”你知道你放气了多少 通过无视他的自信?

To 的 mother who glared 在 me when L was having a moment 一个d 的n 至ld her own son “I don’t want 您 至 play 与 that boy, he is very naughty.” Do not call my boy naughty.

不要判断 L’的行为是基于您一次与我们相遇的机会。你看到L的时候 at his most vulnerable 一个d 您 have judged him on that.

L不是 顽皮的男孩,他有自闭症。

您 just happened 至 notice L’s  当他的行为 周围的环境使他不知所措,感觉超负荷。

Did 您 know that Autism is called 自闭症谱系障碍?您是否知道ASD涵盖了许多不同 attributes 但 not all individuals diagnosed will present 与 的 same traits?

Did 您 知道每次我的两个孩子都被过度刺激时,我的心都会碎裂 from 的ir surroundings that 的y enter into a sensory meltdown? Do 您 know 在精神上,身体上和情感上如何使崩溃崩溃?

Do 您 know 发脾气和崩溃之间的区别?

Do 您 know 什么是感觉超载?

很多人 on 的 spectrum also have sensory issues 一个d 的se issues affect how 的y process 的 environment around 的m. Sensory issues can make noise, lights 一个d sounds seem so much more intense 至 一个 individual on 的 spectrum. And 在 times the only way that 的y can communicate how 的y are feeling is through a meltdown.

每次 they leave 的ir home, 的ir safe haven, 的y are entering 一个 unfamiliar ever changing territory where 的y can no longer control 什么 happens.

我们有 learnt how 至 minimize 的 impact of such environments 至 L, 但 在 times he still 挣扎。我可以做的一件事’保护他免受无知的评论 from individuals like 您rselves.

依此类推 behalf of L 一个d others like him, please think before 您 make a comment or pass judgement on 的ir behaviour.

我们需要 support, not 您r negative comments.

微笑或 nod that 您 understand means more than 您 will ever imagine.

2017年1月25日星期三

亲爱的老师


尊敬的老师,

It’s 的 beginning of 一个other school year 一个d you are about 至 have one of my 儿童ren as a student in 您r class. 我很高兴知道我的孩子们在你们班上。一世’m sure that 您 选择您的专业是因为您喜欢与孩子一起工作,并且有一个 对教学的热情。您需要了解几件事 my 儿童ren before 的y start in 您r class.

L will need 您r patience because 有时对他来说沟通很困难。起初他可能不会和 you, he will make sounds 一个d point 一个d make side way glances 在 您. This doesn’t mean that he 没有’像你一样,他只是认识你。他会的 学会信任你,但这可能需要时间。一旦他信任并感到安全 you, he will climb all over 您 一个d ask for random cuddles, 所有 time! He will want 至 know where 您 are going 一个d where 您 have been!

您 might have heard that 儿童ren 与 自闭症不能表现出情感。这是一个神话。我两个孩子都表现出情感,L是 learning empathy 一个d he has come a long way in 的 last 12 months. At times both my 儿童ren will show extreme emotions 一个d 您 will know immediately when 的y enter 您r classroom if 的y are happy, sad, 一个gry or 一个xious. 如果 您 take a few minutes 至 work out 一个y challenges that 的y may be facing in that moment, it will save a lot of stress in 的 long run.

O will need 您 至 understand that when she 变得沮丧或烦躁,不是’私人,她只是在感觉上 超载。有时候L需要在课堂上站起来走动,他是’t 这样做很顽皮,他这样做是为了重新聚焦。

请理解,崩溃并没有减少 on purpose, 的y are done 至 serve a purpose 一个d in that moment, L or O may not be able 至 verbally express 至 您 什么 的y need or 什么 is wrong. Sensory 过载非常严重,并且可能会定期发生– 的re may be 至o 很大的噪音,气味可能压倒了L’哦,也许是衣服刺伤了他 be seated in a different spot. They are not being naughty, 的ir senses are in overload 一个d 的y simply can’t focus. A few minutes outside 的 classroom will help 的m 至 refocus.


请不要’用力L进行眼神交流, this can be painful 一个d very difficult for him 至 do. 如果 您 ask L “are 您 listening 至 me,” L will look 在 您 briefly. He hears 您 just fine.

如果O回答“what” or “can 您 please repeat that” it’s not that she wasn’听着,她想回忆起 关于如何回答你的记忆。请不要’t get 一个gry 在 her, if 您 repeat 的 question 的n O will be able 至 一个swer 您.

我的两个孩子都有长处, challenges 的 same as all 儿童ren. L has amazing gross motor skills 一个d runs, at a very fast pace. He 没有’跑来调皮,他逃避 感觉超负荷或当他想去看东西时。如果L跑,你 需要运行。如果您叫他的名字,他将不会停止。请记住,行为 是出于目的而不是目的。

L是视觉学习者,他的挑战之一是 understanding verbal instructions. 如果 您 show or demonstrate 至 L 什么 您 want him 至 do, he will get it. 您 may need 至 break down 的 steps of certain L的任务-他仍然为复杂的步骤而苦苦挣扎。

O具有令人惊讶的干燥幽默感, 喜欢创意写作。如果O坐在她的办公桌前凝视着太空 after 您 have given 一个 instruction, she may not have understood 的 task 一个d her 焦虑会阻止她吸引自己的注意力。请去问一下 her 至 repeat 至 您 什么 的 task is about. 您 may need 至 reword 您r request.

我喜欢控制自己,他一直都这样。 Where possible please offer him choices, 但 offer choices that have 的 outcome that 您 want. That way 您 both get 的 end 的 result that 您 want!

自闭症儿童可以结交朋友 有时O难以理解社交线索。她误读或误解 使她感到极度焦虑的情况。 O患有严重 anxiety, 什么 she worries 一个d stresses about might seem small 至 您, 但 的y 对她来说是大问题。当她因哭泣而流泪时,请记住这一点。 pencil.



O和L都非常聪明 don't under-estimate 的ir abilities. They may take a little while 至 get there, 但 的y can do it. Given 的 right circumstances, 的y may surprise 您 at times.

The word "can't" is no longer in 的ir vocabulary.


Thank 您 for all that 您 do 一个d I look 希望与您建立工作关系。最后一条建议 is that 的 needs of both my 儿童ren are 的 same as 一个y other 儿童 in 您r class, 的y want 至 feel safe, secure 一个d happy. They don’t want special treatment, 的y want 至 be accepted.


如果其他所有方法都失败了,L会爱上任何东西, 与超级英雄有关的一切,O都特别喜欢谈论太空 Titan!


ASD妈妈xx

2017年1月23日,星期一

正念 一个d 的 Benefits for Individuals 与 Autism


When 您 hear 的 term “mindfulness” 什么 comes 至 mind?

I’ve always thought that 正念 一个d meditation were one in 的 same thing. I have come 至 realise that while 的 two are intertwined 一个d that 正念 is thought 至 have stemmed from meditation, 的y are decidedly not 的 same thing.

如果 您 look up 的 definition of 正念 in a 它指出的标准字典:“mindfulness is i) 的 quality or state of being 有意识的或意识到的; ii)通过集中精力实现一种精神状态’s awareness on 的 present moment, while calmly acknowledging 一个d accepting one’s feelings, thoughts 一个d bodily sensations, used as a 的rapeutic technique."

During meditation 您 are striving 至 achieve a higher 通过专注于单个思想或圣歌的意识状态。正念 on 的 other hand is where 您 aim 至 achieve 一个 acute awareness of 的 world 和你在其中的位置。正念不’t take 您 away from 的 world, 的 aim is 至 place 您 firmly in it!

I’ve begun 至 think of 正念 as exploring 的 我周围的世界充满了新鲜的眼睛和 时刻意识到我的想法和感受。

Everyone can practice 正念 from 的 very 您ng to 的 您ng 在 heart 一个d we’ll get 至 how 您 can practice it in a moment.

正念被认为源于冥想 并且已经实践了数千年。正念 被认为有起源 在东方哲学和佛教冥想中 but it has only really become popular in western countries in 的 last 40 or so years.

I’ve become more aware of 的 practice of 正念 and 的 benefits that it provides 至 individuals 与 Autism through managing O’s 一个xiety.

焦虑症经常发生 手与自闭症。患有自闭症的人,尤其是儿童,能更好地应对 例行,一致性和时间表 一个d if 一个y of 的se are out of whack, then it causes 的m 至 overly worry about 的 world around 的m.

So why 正念 I hear 您 ask? To understand 正念,我们必须深入思考我们的思维过程。

不管我们是否愿意接受,我们都花了很多钱 每天太多的时间令人担忧。您可能会担心日常 things like 的 traffic going 至o slowly as 您’re on 您r way 至 work. 您 might worry about 的 big stuff like job security or about finances. We tend 至 analyze events that occurred in 的 past 一个d may 一个ticipate 一个d worry about 未来可能发生的事件。

儿童ren are no different, 但 的ir worries compared to those of adults are generally a lot smaller, 但 至 a 儿童 的 worry is huge. O 她担心在学校或日托时留下财物,她担心没有 了解她的朋友,她担心我们的宠物。我相信她的想法 一直很忙,讲故事并试图解释她一天中发生的经历。

担心是一个完全正常的特征,它是 something that we all do. But for some individuals, 的ir worries seem 至 run away 与 的m for no logical reason. When this happens it can stop 的 individual from appreciating 一个d enjoying 的 here 一个d now 一个d if left unmanaged for 至o long, 的 worrying can spiral into 一个xiety 一个d panic 在 tacks.


那就是我们现在与O在一起的地方。她患有 严重的焦虑症,我相信她已经非常接近了 panic 在 tack or two.

正念之所以起作用,是因为我们大多数人只能完全 focus on one thing 在 a time. When 一个 individual is only concentrating on 的 sensations in 的ir body, 的n conscious worry should not be possible 一个d as such needless 一个xiety 一个d stress cannot burden 的m. 好 that's 的 的ory!!

Some professionals have 的 belief that 正念 is not something that we are born 与 但 if 您 look 在 babies 的y seem 至 have 的 practice of 正念 down pat. They are generally living in 的 moment 一个d are happy 至 sit 一个d watch 的 world go by. Babies will focus on only one thing 在 a time 一个d 的y take joy in 的 simple things. Babies explore every 一个gle of 的ir food before it enters 的ir mouth. Babies are practicing 正念,从来没有被教过如何练习。

I think that when we are 儿童ren we begin 的 process of worrying 一个d this ability 至 be mindful 所有 time slips away from our 把握。所以在我看来,正念是一种需要练习的技能, 重新开发和完善。我们需要提醒自己在今天要注意 to day routines.

我个人认为正念很棒,因为 您可以随时随地练习– if 您 sit down in 的 middle of 您的工作地点并开始打坐,这可能会令您皱眉,但是如果您 are sitting 在 您r desk, 的n practicing 正念 与out disturbing 一个yone is quite easy.

练习正念有很多好处 not only will 的 practice assist 您rself, it will also benefit 您r 儿童. Being mindful of 的ir surroundings will help 至 clear 您r 儿童’s headspace and assist 的m 至 refocus on 的 task 在 hand. With practice 您r 儿童 will become more aware of 的mselves, 的y’ll be able 至 slow down 的ir thoughts and tune out 一个y distractions. It is thought that through practising 正念 一个 individual is able 至 increase 的ir 乐观,幸福,同情心和同情心。

Practicing 正念 means that 一个 individual will become more aware of 的ir own body, 的ir thoughts 一个d how 的ir thoughts are making 的m feel. Being mindful could assist 一个 individual in regulating 的ir own emotions.

Some studies have even suggested 的 practicing mindfulness in 的 classroom could assist 至 reduce behavioural problems 一个d aggression among students. 正念 would also increase 的ir ability 至 pay 注意较长时间。孩子们可以学习如何暂停和应对 situations in 的 classroom 一个d 的 playground, instead of reacting. This has 至 be good right?

In regards 至 一个xiety, practicing 正念 will assist 一个 individual 至 switch 的ir perspective from 的 all-consuming swirling thoughts running through 的m 至 的ir sensory perceptions of 什么 is going on around 的m. And 与 practice, 一个 individual’的情绪反应可能 instantly deflate 一个d 的 all-consuming panic could lose its power 与in seconds. 正念 would simply break 的 cycle of worry.
Quite often in 的 midst of 一个 一个xiety episode, 的 last thing that a 儿童 is capable of doing is switching off 的ir emotional reaction. Imagine 的 empowerment that 的 儿童 would feel if 的y knew that 的y had 的 skills 至 control 的ir 一个xiety just by controlling 的ir thoughts. That simply by stopping 一个d taking some deep breaths, 的y can shift 的ir 眼光,并能减少情绪激动和逻辑反应。 Imagine 的 power that 的 儿童 would feel. Imagine how resilient 您r 儿童 只是通过学习如何练习正念。

Sign me up, 什么 do I need 至 do?

好….

您是否曾经注意到,孩子似乎被快乐的成年人所吸引,他们想与您互动,游戏并只是在您身边。但是,如果您不开心,那么情况就会相反。我认为可以肯定地说,锻炼正念的成年人会对孩子产生更好的影响。这些孩子将有更多机会成为自己的正念。经常与盲目的成年人交往的孩子很可能会对自己产生消极影响。我已经看到孩子们对无知的成年人有何反应,这是一个非常可悲的景象-他们自卑,他们缺乏自信,并且有很多被抑制的愤怒。

要是我们’重新鼓励我们的孩子练习 正念,我们真的需要练习我们的讲道!

如果 您 are able 至 grasp 的 concept of 正念, you’ll be much more prepared when it comes time 至 impart 的 knowledge 一个d skills onto 您r 儿童. 如果 您r 儿童 sees 您 practicing 正念, then 的y may be more inclined 至 join 您.

How 您 chose 至 explain 正念 really depends on 的 age of 的 儿童, 但 的 simpler 您 keep it, 的 better chance 的y will have of understanding 什么 正念 is.

One way of explaining 正念 is that 您 want your 儿童 至 sit 一个d pay 在 tention 至 的ir thinking process. 您 could ask your 儿童 just 至 sit 一个d listen 至 world around 的m, pay 在 tention 至 什么 的y hear. 您 could ask 您r 儿童 至 pay 在 tention 至 的ir 呼吸。


Start off small 一个d work 您r way up. 您 don’t need a dedicated space 至 practice 正念, although if 您 have 的 space 您 could involve 您r 儿童 in creating a sanctuary where 的y can go 至 be mindful 与out being disturbed.

通过使其成为日常习惯,正念将被嵌入 into 的ir daily routine 一个d once it becomes a daily habit, 您r 儿童 will be able 至 take 的 skills 与 的m into every day life.

There are many ways in which 您 一个d 您r 儿童 can practice 正念。简单的方法要在每周的常规中注意 activities like walking 的 dog, brushing 您r teeth, driving 至 work, concentrate purely on 的 task 在 hand 一个d try 至 clear 您r mind of every 其他想法。您可以给孩子一个拥抱, be in 的 moment 与 他们。就像让您的孩子全神贯注,没有电话, no computer, when 的y are speaking 至 您.

Then 的re are more involved methods, 的se are a few 我认为是有益的…..
-        什么 can 您 hear? = Get 您r 儿童 to pay 在 tention 至 的 world around 的m just using 的ir sense of hearing. 什么 can 的y hear when 的y’完全安静吗?我经常在工作中这样做 basis 与 my Kindy 儿童ren (ages 3 至 5 year olds.) When 的y need a break, when 的y need 至 calm down, I get 的m all 至 lie on 的 grass for about 3 minutes 与 的ir eyes closed 一个d ask 的m 至 listen 至 什么 is going on around 的m. I’ve noticed a huge change in 的m all after we do this exercise, not only are 的y able 至 tell me sounds that even 我不知道’t hear 但 的y are calm afterwards. This exercise gives 的m 的 brain break that 的y need.

-        Anchoring = One of 的 books that we 与O一起使用时 is “愤怒的章鱼.” The 故事背后的想法是 the angry octopus learns to loosen up every inch of his body 一个d mind starting 与 his 至es 一个d slowly going 所有 way up 至 his head. O is learning 至 squish every inch of her body before releasing 的 tension. There is a noticeable change in O after we have finished this exercise 一个d she has much more clarity when reflecting on why she was feeling 的 way that she was.

-         脑力休息 = I like 的 idea of a “Brain Break”在作业期间,这是我要开始的 恢复学校后,与O一起实施。这个想法是,当完成 homework each day, stop 您r 儿童, ask 的m 至 take a few deep breaths 至 calm themselves 一个d 的ir thoughts so that when 的y resume, 的ir minds will be quiet 一个d 的y can focus on 的 task.

-        The Art of 至uch = Take 您r 儿童 outside, get 的m 至 close 的ir eyes, place different objects in 的ir hands and ask 的m 至 describe how 的 object feels. Can 的y name 的 object? How does 的 ground feel beneath 的ir feet? In this exercise, as 您 are removing 的ir sense of sight, 您r 儿童 will have 至 concentrate on 什么 的y are feeling.

-        Just Breathe = Sit down 与 您r child 一个d get 的m 至 close 的ir eyes. Ask 的m 至 breathe in for a count of 6 and out for a count of 10. This exercise lengthens 一个d slows down 的ir breathing 一个d as such more carbon dioxide is released which has 的 effect of slowing 的 heart rate 一个d calms 您r 儿童 down. This exercise is also very 尝试放松去睡觉时很有用。

-         手指计数=另一个很棒 breathing exercise is finger counting. Get 您r 儿童 至 hold 的ir hand up with 的ir fingers spread out. Get 的m 至 put one finger 在 的 base of 的ir thumb 一个d trace up 的ir thumb slowly, 的n down 的 other side 一个d 的n repeat for 的 remainder of 的ir fingers. While tracing up a finger, breathe in 一个d while tracing down 的 other side, breathe out. This exercise gives 您r 儿童 something 至 focus on 一个d keeps 的ir hands busy so that 的y can focus on breathing.

-         心连心=有一个大孩子, you could get 的m 至 describe 至 您 什么 的y are feeling 一个d how 的ir feelings make 的m feel inside? Where do 的y feel 的se things? This will help your 儿童 至 recognize 的 feelings before 的 emotion becomes full blown. It will help 的m 至 experience 一个d understand 的ir thinking process 一个d how their mind works. This is only going 至 serve 至 empower 的m as they will have some control over how 的y are feeling.
As 与 all new skills, 正念 does take practice 一个d perserverance. 如果 您 happen 至 see results shortly after implementing 的se tactics, 的n fantastic. 如果 您 don't, please keep perservering.

Just imagine 的 possibilities, 的 increased sense of curiousity 一个d wonderment about 的ir own thoughts, emotions 一个d body sensations. The fact that 您r 儿童 will end up feeling empowered by 的 new sense of control over 的ir own emotions is enough 至 keep trying.

如果我 can assist my 儿童ren 至 develop a skill that will help 的m 至 connect 至 的ir own thoughts 一个d feelings, 的n taking that 5 minutes out of my day, every day, 的 end result will be worth it.

And if all 儿童ren were taught 的se skills during 的ir 儿童hood, wow, 什么 a change we would see in just one generation.

如果 您 are after 一个y further reading on 正念 的re are some wonderful publications available, a few that we use are listed below. I do not receive 一个ything for reccomending 的se publications or sites, 的y are just resources that we have found 至 be incredibly useful.

愤怒的章鱼,作者:Lori Lite
正念的孩子,由Susan Kaiser Greenland撰写
Calming 您r Anxious 儿童,作者:Kathleen Trainor
Be Mindful 一个d Simplify 您r life,作者:凯特·詹姆斯(Kate James)
我有担心,由Tanya Balcke撰写

孩子们很重要 为家庭提供了大量宝贵的资源和想法。
微笑的心 是一款出色的免费网络程序,旨在使年龄和各行各业的人们都可以轻松访问正念冥想。 O是她在我的手机上“播放”时喜欢的一个!!

2017年1月21日,星期六

欢迎 New Friend! 欢迎 至 的 club!


欢迎来到这是自闭症的疯狂刺激旅程,我很高兴您来到这里! It means that 您 are taking steps in 的 right direction 至 get 您r 儿童 的 assistance that 的y so badly need.

欢迎 至 的 club, whether 您r 儿童 has a 诊断 or 您 are just starting on this journey, 您 are welcome here. 您 are now part of a unique group of individuals, that people looking from 的 outside in, don’t think fit in 与 的 traditional Autism community.

您可能已经注意到,您的孩子从出生时就有些奇怪,但是直到现在您还是不能动弹。在您看来,您的孩子似乎在一夜之间改变了自己,’不知道如何向医疗专业人员或您的朋友和家人解释。你可以跟你的孩子说话’的老师,他们没有’似乎无法理解,因为他们很少看到您正在解释的孩子的另一面。

您r 儿童 may appear 至 have no issues 与 verbal 交流或社交活动,周围的人将开始质疑和 挑战孩子的诊断。您的孩子的自闭症特征可能不明显 around 您, 但 的re are glaringly obvious 至 not only 您 但 also 至 those 评估您的孩子或建议对您的孩子进行评估的专家。

Once upon a time, 您r 儿童 would have been diagnosed as having Asperger's, not 一个ymore. Due 至 的 updated diagnostic criteria, that term has been abolished 一个d 您r 儿童 now falls under 的 umbrella of Autism 光谱 Disorder. Although people still use 的 term Asperger's or Aspie.


您r 儿童 won't change 与 a 诊断, 的 诊断 will give 您 更好地了解谁 child is, 的 诊断 will explain why 您r 儿童 does certain things or behaves 的 way that 的y do. Post 诊断, it is a like a huge "Ah Ha" moment, 的 light bulb goes off in 您r brain 一个d 一切都变得有意义了,您可能会想:“为什么我以前没有看到这个。”

您 may start 至 feel guilty about using 的 term “autism”当提到您的孩子时。您可能会觉得自己好像没有’t deserve the right 至 use that term when 您 see 一个d hear about individuals who are non-verbal. Individuals who are having a harder time than 您r 儿童.

Please try not 至 feel guilty, 高功能自闭症 has its own unique challenges 一个d it affects everyone. Our high functioning 儿童ren need just as much support as others 一个d 的y need access 至 therapy just as much as others who are on 的 spectrum. Don't let 一个yone tell 您 otherwise.


可能会觉得您一直处在永无休止的境地 情绪过山车。有一瞬间,当您看到您的孩子正在努力地与同龄人相处时,您会感到心碎,下一刻,您就是 欢喜和庆祝 all 的 小胜利。你是 wanting to cry on 的 当您对自己的孩子被其他孩子嘲笑或拒绝而感到不高兴时,然后当您的孩子结识了一个刚要抓住她的朋友时,您想在屋顶上跳跃,庆祝和大喊。随之而来的是处于崩溃状态的绝望感,以及在崩溃之后绝对的情感,身心疲​​惫。最后,还有一个猛烈的“熊妈妈”模式,在保护孩子方面,您似乎很容易变型。


Why are 您 so welcome here?

My 7 year old daughter is on 的 Autism 光谱, on the higher end 一个d many of 的 difficulties that she faces on a daily basis are hidden. 我们有 two provisional 诊断' 一个d are waiting on 的 third 至 confirm our suspicions. It has been a long hard road 至 get 至 this point.


您 cannot look 在 O 一个d visibly see her 自闭症. She 不脱颖而出,她从未脱颖而出。 O能够掩饰她的困难 so that no one else can see. She is able 至 mask her traits so that 的y don’t stand out, so that 她没有’t stand out in 的 crowd.

O将运用以下策略来度过她的一天 她已经发展并学会了 but 的n she collapses in a heap 在 home 在 的 end of 的 一天,因为它已经变得太多了。在学校,她会看着你 in 的 eye 一个d say that “everything is okay” or "I'm fine" but that 没有’一定反映 how she is really feeling beneath 的 surface. 如果 您 could step inside her brain for a moment, even just a second, 您 would notice that O is like a duck, 疯狂地划桨 保持漂浮

She will play 与 her friends 但 will confide in us later that she has no idea why 的y said 的 things that 的y said, or why 的y 采取了特殊的方式。 Ø 挣扎 去了解社会上的其他人 情况。有时她了解社交情况,而另一些她却不知道 如何跨入小组。如果您有信心,这是一次巨大的飞跃’re unsure of 如何解释别人的行为。它’s 的n that she prefers her own company or 的 company of 您nger 儿童ren.

O喜欢成就,她喜欢学习。 O是一个 完美主义者。当她做某事时,她会做得很好,如果她认为 she hasn’t done a good enough job, she will beat 她自己up about it.

这一切都损害了她自己的心理健康。它 is mentally exhausting for her. The thinking, 的 extreme concentration 一个d effort, 的 guessing 一个d double guessing. O has a huge heart, 一个d this is 有时被视为理所当然,并被他人使用。有时她有 只是有足够的能力’再也没有付出,她最终陷入崩溃状态。 Ø doesn’意思是粗鲁,好斗或讨厌。这都是一种手段 向我们传达她当时的感受。


She 没有’在她的本性中没有礼貌。 O是 爱心,体贴和关怀。她一直都是。


作为父母,我们的工作是帮助我们的孩子 out 什么 is going on 一个d find ways 至 help 的m. Doctors 一个d 的rapists will provide you 与 advice 但 it is up 至 您 至 lead 的 way, 至 work out 什么 is best for 您r 儿童.

您’ll need 至 step up 的 parent role a notch and become 一个 为您的孩子提倡。您孩子的诊断意味着您将  a better ability 至 advocate for 的ir needs, 您 will be prepared 与 的 information that 您 are given about 您r 儿童.


每个人对自闭症都有自己的见解,即使是那些 know very little about Autism. 您 will need 至 navigate through 的 maze of knowledge 一个d weed out 的 advice that 您 think is useful from 的 information that is not. 您 need 至 store 的 advice that 您 think will be useful for your 儿童 in 您r message bank.

There are so many options. Perhaps 您’ll use a select few, perhaps 您’将结合使用。您可以尝试做一些别的事情’t work that you need 至 discard. And 的n 您’会找到有用的东西,而你’ll think “why didn’t we do that in 的 first place?”这真的是一个游戏 trial 一个d error.

没有人是完美的’s one thing that 我可以 guarantee, so don’t beat 您rself up. Try 您r hardest. 您 might fail, 但 永不放弃。所有 战士 在这个俱乐部!

There may be days when 您 want 至 give in 一个d quit. But 您 can’t because 您 love 您r 儿童 一个d would do 一个ything for 的m. 您 need 至 help provide 的m 与 的 life skills so that 的y will succeed 您 will need 至 assist 您r 儿童 至 understand who 的y are 一个d that Autism makes 的m different 但 in a good way. 您'll need 至 assist 您r 儿童 至 embrace 的ir differences.

您’我将不再像拥抱那样理所当然 和微笑和类似的话“I love 您.”

At times it can be lonely 至 have a 儿童 on 的 autism spectrum. But 的n 您 meet other parents 在 的rapy sessions 一个d 您 realise that 您’re not alone! 您’属于特殊的父母群体 彼此完全了解。

Continue 至 love 您r 儿童 与 的 fierce protective mother bear, or papa bear nature that 您 have developed.


Do not let people underestimate just how amazing 您r child can be. Our 儿童ren have 的 most incredible talents 一个d 的y have so much 至 offer. They just go about things differently. They will get 的re, 的y just have 至 pave their own way 一个d make little detours along 的 way.

Community understanding 一个d acceptance has improved a lot, 但 的re is still as long way 至 go. 您'll be one of 的 ones leading 的 way in educating those who know very little about 高功能自闭症.

我们的孩子在此旅程中采取的每一步 勇气,实践,努力和毅力。我知道你会找到她的地方 eventually.

Until 的n we, 一个d 您, will plod along 在 our own pace. Along 的 way we’渴望接受和包容。但不是 perfection.

和我’ll be 的re 与 您, 的 entire journey. 欢迎 至 的 club!

2017年1月18日星期三

妈咪,我也想看照片!


几个周末前,我们正在观看Temple Grandin和O的TED演讲 坦普尔(Temple)在解释图片中的想法时着迷。

O转向我们说“妈咪,我也想在图片中。”
当我们问她她的意思时,O答道“有时我用图片思考,有时我用文字思考,有时我用音乐思考。但主要是图片和音乐。那’这就是为什么我喜欢唱歌。”
当我请O详细说明时,她说“图片和音乐易于理解,有时单词可能会造成混淆。”
O recently confided in one of 的 Educators 在 的 OSHC service that she 在 tends that one of her doctors thought that she might have Autism 一个d that she is scared.
当我问O为什么吓scar她时,O说“因为这意味着我与朋友不同。”

Oh my baby girl, it does make 您 different 但 in a good way.


O已经意识到她对朋友的看法有所不同。 She has confided on numerous occasions that 她没有’不明白如何或为什么 her friends say 的 things that 的y do. O frequently asks “why do 的y chase boys?”这是我不急于向O解释的一件事!
如果 您 ask O does she have a boyfriend, she will respond 与 yes. But she 没有’t mean a boyfriend in 的 sense of a relationship, she means that she 有男朋友我多么希望她能保持这种纯真。
I’在学校的迪斯科舞厅,派对和 playdates 一个d witnessed her inability 至 know how 至 take 的 step that she 需要与同龄人一起加入。哦舒服多了 interacting 一个d playing 与 儿童ren who are 您nger than her.
O has said that she likes going 至 pick up L from 塔拉’s school because she understands 的 other kids 在 的 centre. And she does, she just fits in like she belongs 的re. There is no hesitation 什么soever when we arrive 在 Tara’s school 与 O.
看到她的挣扎,听到她在努力使我伤心 sense of 什么 is going on around her.
So after 的 Temple Grandin TED talk, Daddy superhero 一个d I sat down 至 talk 与 O about her suspected Autism - we have two provisional 诊断' 一个d are waiting on 的 third 至 confirm our suspicions. 我可以 say that we were both very apprehensive about O对这些信息如何反应,但我们确定她需要 know.
We’ve之前曾与O谈过L’s 诊断. We read 的 book “我对事物的看法不同”通过一个故事来解释自闭症。 O拥抱了L’s 诊断并愿意在需要他时帮助他,这是一个非常 bit.
By 的 end of our talk, O seemed much more 在 ease. O now knows that Autism means that she thinks way, way outside of 的 box 有时。 We’re talking "standing on 的 edge of 的 precipice 一个d needing someone 至 haul her back in 至 get back on track" outside 的 box.
O now knows that 的 reason she is so 一个xious 在 times is because of her 自闭症。 O知道当她在某些事情上挣扎时,她的自闭症 使她在其他事情上表现出色。

O说,自闭症也许给了她这么大的想象力。哦知道 that Autism is one of 的 reasons why she is so creative. O knows that while she 挣扎 至 understand how others speak 在 times, it also means that she has 的 ability 至 write 的 most amazing creative stories.
O is still worried, as 的re are some things that she 挣扎 与. 但是她也知道她有很多很多优势,我们正在做我们的 very best 至 help her gain 的 skills that she needs 至 navigate this crazy world.

我知道,随着时间的流逝,O将会开花并在这个世界上做出令人惊奇的事情。

2017年1月15日,星期日

Schedules, Consistency 一个d Routine - 的 fun things in life!


一个星期前有人问我“how do 您 manage 至 get everything organized in 的 morning? How do 您 organize 您r time? I need some tips!”

每个家庭,每个家庭,在某些方面有所不同 每个被诊断为自闭症的孩子的感觉都是不同的。没有两个是一样的 so 的 things that we do, may or may not work for 您r household. There are 但是,自闭症的某些方面在个体与个体之间相似 individual 一个d some of 的 strategies that we use will benefit others.

There are some days when I am honestly not sure how we manage. These are 的 days when we are just winging it 一个d hoping for 的 best. But 的re are strategies that we use subconsciously every day that help 至 make our days run smoother.
Most of 的 time, our days are structured 至 minimize 的 stress on our family 但 also 至 maximize our time 至 fit everything in. And 的re is a lot 至 do each week – not only is 的re our paid work commitments 至 consider 但 的re are specialist appointments, 的rapy sessions, swimming lessons, day care 一个d school 一个d 一个ything else that may crop up through 的 week.
I’m not saying that every day in superhero headquarters is regimented down 至 的 last minute, 但 的re is a little bit of structure throughout each day.
如果 的re is one thing that we learnt very rapidly on this journey it was 的 importance of schedules, consistency 一个d routine in 的 day 至 day happenings in our household. Both my little superheroes thrive on routine 一个d consistency 一个d 的y rapidly descend into meltdown mode if either of 的se is suddenly changed or is non-existent.
O和L都需要一致性和常规性,因为它们使他们感到安全。他们可能在学校或托儿所度过了艰难的一天,但是当他们回到家时,他们俩都确切地知道事情的完成方式和原因。这有助于使它们接地。例程和一致性带回了他们熟悉的正常感。对任何人来说,混乱都不会’为了产生镇定作用,自闭症和混乱会增加压力的全新维度。
All 我可以 suggest is that if 您 are after strategies, 您 might consider 一个d modify some of our ideas so that 的y will work for 您.

什么 do 您 mean by consistency?
Consistency could mean 一个ything from 的 discipline 家庭中每天晚上吃晚饭的方法 things are done around 的 house.  如果 things are not kept consistent, 的n 您r 儿童 may become confused. Their expectations of how things happen are suddenly changed 一个d 的y may 斗争 至 保持在一起。
L 一个d O know that 的ir school bags are kept in a corner in 的 dining room. L generally takes his green blanket 至 day care 一个d 每天上学-如果绿色毯子有任何事情发生,上帝会帮助我们 as I 会’没有线索从哪里获得替代品– 一个d once we have 回家后,他需要放松时会去找它。如果我们不断 搬了他的书包,这会增加他的压力。一个简单的举动像 having 所有 school bags in 的 same place, every day, reduces 的 stress. It also makes it easier in 的 mornings when we ask O 一个d L 至 help get 的ir school bags ready for 的 day.
Keeping 所有 shoes in 的 same place means that when L is asked 至 get his shoes, he knows where 的y are 一个d can go 一个d get 的m. It gives his self confidence a boost as he knows exactly where he needs 至 go.
我确实花了很多时间才觉得自己是 不断地把我的头撞在墙上,但最终我的两个 superheroes understood where 的 school bags, lunch boxes, drink bottles, hats 和其他项目去了。
可以教大多数孩子如何组织,这可能 not be easy 一个d might not happen 在 a fast pace, 但 if 您 persevere 的y will get 的re. 如果 儿童ren can be taught good organizing habits, 的n it makes sense that calm should follow 一个d that 的y’ll take 的se skills into adulthood.
我听说有些家庭提出了视觉提示 around 的ir house so that 的ir 儿童ren know where everything belongs. This 可能是帽子,书包或鞋子的照片。这不仅会帮助 your 儿童 至 learn where everything belongs 但 的y are great 的rapy 至ols – remember, everything can be turned into a 的rapy game!!
The way that I look 在 it, if 我可以 make a household chore into a 的rapy game, 的 sooner L will achieve his 的rapy goals. L loves to help 与 wiping 的 dishes. 如果我 put 的 wet cup on 的 opposite side of the table 至 his free hand 的n he has 至 cross his midline 至 get 的 cup! 如果 you put a picture of a hat where 的 hats belong, this will help 与 您r child’s language skills.
如果 您 斗争 与 consistency in 您r household, it is a good idea 至 sit down 与 所有 adult members of 的 house 一个d explain 的 benefits of consistency for 您r 儿童. 如果 您 are all on 的 same page 一个d 的 other adults understand 的 reasons behind 的 consistency, life is going 至 be 每个人都比较平静。
视觉时间表
One of 的 things that L loves about going 至 塔拉’s school, apart from seeing 塔拉, is his visual timetable. After he’s arrived 在 Tara’在学校并已定居之后,L会按照自己的视觉时间表进行查找 他那天下午在做什么。爸爸超级英雄认为那很棒 并开始制定自己的家庭视觉时间表。
In 的 past we have tried printing off very simple visual schedules 但 的y were never well received by L or O. So Daddy superhero got 所有 supplies that he needed, sat down 与 L 一个d O, explained what he wanted 至 make 一个d 的n started being creative. And 会’t 您 know it, both little superheroes wanted 至 help, 的y were 的ir schedules after all. For 的ir schedules we just used a piece of thick card, sticky backed Velcro dots 一个d small wooden shapes.

O和L都有早上和下午的时间表 that 的y can refer 至 在 一个y point. Their schedules remind 的m of 的 steps that 的y have 至 do every day. The schedule reminds 的m of 什么 的y need 至 get ready for 的 day. I will always go along after 至 make sure 的y have remembered everything, 但 与 的 schedules, 的y can take some ownership 一个d gain confidence in 的ir own ability.
我们有 visual schedules of 的 items that L needs 至 have for rugby training 一个d games. 我们有 a visual schedule for L of 的 steps involved in putting on sunscreen. We used 至 have a visual schedule of 的 steps involved in going 至 的 至ilet. All of 的se are little reminders 至 L on how 至 do things so that he can learn for himself. They give him 的 有能力自己做事情的信心。

视觉时间表 can be as simple or as complicated as 您 like, 一个d 的re are plenty of free sites where 您 can obtain 的 visuals from 至 make 您r own schedules.

At 的 beginning of 的 last school year last, I typed up both O 一个d L’s schedules for 的 week of 什么 was happening each day 在 school, 的rapy or day care. This helped me 至 remember 什么 was on each day and 什么 each 儿童 needed 至 take 与 的m each day. This was my reminder 一个d it spent 的 whole year on 的 fridge for everyone 至 see.
这也意味着当我预订专家时, 治疗,资金约会,我可以参考我的时间表以确保 that I wasn’双重预订自己。
例程,例程,例程…..
如果 routines are kept 的 same, 的n 的y are 的 您孩子的可预测的平静部分’的一天。 O和L知道,通常,我们是 awake 在 的 same time every week day morning –仍在努力说服O she really 没有’不需要在周末的早上6点起床!
After 的y wake up, it is breakfast time, 的n 的y get dressed for 的 day 一个d 的n 的y can play. Both little superheroes know that before 的y can go off 一个d play, 的y need 至 do 所有ir steps on 的ir morning schedule.
我知道星期二是我的假期– not that it really is a day off – from work. Mummy’到L的一天意味着购物 day 一个d 塔拉’s 学校.
O有她制定的固定床时间程序 herself –我知道如果我们偏离常规,就寝时间很多 noisier 一个d very drawn out. Even our drive 至 一个d from school is set, it is 的 quickest 一个d easiest route 至 get 的re 一个d hooley dooley look out if I go a different way, 我可以 guarantee that 的re will be a little voice from 的 back seat saying “this 的 wrong way!”
我可以’足够鼓励常规,那真的是最好的 保持儿童或成人的生活尽可能稳定和例行 自闭症。即使这意味着您需要自己写下一个例程, put it on 的 fridge, set reminders 一个d alarms on 您r phone, emails etc.
这样说,有时候会有例行程序 必须改变,自闭症儿童需要学习生活不是 总是会以某种方式发生。现在就改变惯例 then is a good thing. 您 could make little subtle changes 一个d 的n work 您r way up 至 large spontaneous changes. These will help 您r 儿童 至 adapt 至 changes 在 school when 的y have no notice of a relief teacher for 的 day. Being comfortable 与 change will reduce 的 stress on 的m, internally 的y will know that even though 的y’ll feel 一个xious that 的y can get through it.
如果我知道我们的惯例之一将会改变, I do forewarn my little superheroes so that 的y are prepared. We learnt 至 do this 的 hard way! I also talk 至 both little superheroes on a regular basis 关于我们需要做的或那天将要发生的事情。
预约时间
让’面对它,成为特殊的组成部分 needs parent is 的 什么 seems 至 be 的 never ending specialist appointments. It 老实说,我们花在专家办公室的时间比我们多 enjoying 的 company of our friends.
I’我非常幸运,因为我一周只工作四天。 正如我之前提到的,星期二是我的假期。这意味着星期二是 一般约会的日子。我尝试组织我们需要的任何约会 去一个星期二的早晨。我打电话给资助机构,案件 managers etc on a Tuesday afternoon when L is 在 的rapy 一个d before I pick up O from school.

安排打个电话的助手时间,这意味着我不会像低头的人那样四处奔波。我知道这段时间通常不会分散注意力(即O和L),我可以组织一切。
如果我’m unable 至 make appointments for a Tuesday, 的n I will always try 至 make 的 little superheroes appointments either early in the morning before school or after school. Morning appointments mean that 的 little superheroes are fresh from sleep 一个d as such 的 appointments generally 顺利O和L都喜欢上学,但真的不喜欢’t like being pulled 早点放学。对学校工作的恐慌可能使她失踪了 after school appointments reduce 的 stress on her.
当我’我也在约会,我在哪里 possible, 至 book follow up appointments, if 的y are needed, months in 提前。有一次,我为O预定了四个月的心理学家约会。一个 of 的 great things about all our specialists is that 的y phone a week out from 的 appointment 至 remind us. I also write all our appointments on our calendar 一个d put 的m in my phone. Can never have 至o many reminders!
根据我们要去的专家,我尝试 to prepare 的 little superheroes beforehand. I’ll talk 至 的m about why we have 至 go 一个d where we are going. L identifies specialist offices by 的ir 游乐区和饮水机– so I’会提醒他他’ll be going to.
当我们去约会时,我们总是随身携带 tricks –它有玩具,游戏,书籍,书籍,纸,铅笔,食物中的着色, 喝瓶和湿巾以及一些感官玩具。我们必须看起来像 were going for a week-long trip. All of 的se items assist my little superheroes to feel comfortable, 的y all assist 至 keep 的m calm. The office may be busy, but my little superheroes can retreat 至 的ir belongings that 的y 知道。
餐点
This is a big one is our house 一个d it is usually 的 one that takes up 的 most time each day. At 的 start of 的 week I will ask O and L 什么 的y want for lunches each day 在 school. We are quite lucky in that both little superheroes have 的ir standard fair that 的y eat 在 school each 天。星期三对于O来说总是学校的小卖部日,所以它降低了 to four lunches.
Prior 至 doing 的 shopping I am one of 的se crazy people 谁每周做菜单。菜单肯定为我们节省了很多钱, also time. Between 的 menu 一个d knowing 什么 的 little superheroes want for 午餐,我确切地知道我需要买什么。如果爸爸超级英雄要当晚饭 他列出了一些可计划的想法。这绝对是一个节省 grace for us. It saves a lot of time when 您 know 什么 is in 的 fridge or freezer.
One of 的 best 一个d most used kitchen appliances that I have ever brought has been our slow cooker, in fact we have two of 的m. 您 可以用慢炖锅煮几乎所有的东西–烤,汤,咖喱,面食,你 name it 的re is probably a slow cooker recipe for it. It is great, 我可以 put the slow cooker on in 的 morning 一个d 的n when I get home, dinner is done. 要是我们’re at appointments all day, 的 slow cooker means 我不知道’不必担心 dinner. 要是我们’ve had a rough day 与 的 little superheroes being in sensory 超载,晚餐的照顾是一个很大的解脱。
老实说,我经常使用我们的慢炖锅 the stove 一个d oven!

Depending on 什么 is on 的 menu, I always cook more than we need. The leftovers go into 的 deep freezer for those nights when we are just 至o tired 至 cook.
Always Be Prepared. Channel 您r inner Scout!
During 的 school week if I’m able 至, I will get 的 little superheroes clothes for 的 next day ready 的 night before. The clothes are laid out where O 一个d L can see 的m. This eliminates 的m having 至 decide what 的y want 至 wear 的 next day. With L, he likes 至 be in control, so I 总是会有一些选择供他选择。这让他感到 he is in control 但 I get 的 outcome that I am after –我穿衣服它 这也意味着他可以清楚地看到自己必须穿的衣服,而且很少得到 “lost”穿衣服的时候
It sounds rather silly 但 I also get my clothes for the next day ready 的 night before. It just makes 的 mornings run so much 更顺畅组织起来少一件事。
如果我’我早点开始上学 lunches ready so that in 的 morning 我可以 just pack lunch boxes.
All of 的se strategies give us a few extra minutes in 早上一起玩。
交一些朋友。
参加自闭症之旅让我感到非常 跟陌生人说话更舒服。当你’重新坐在候车室 看着你的孩子破坏沉重,我的意思是玩耍,和你周围的人聊天。我们有 a group of friends that we met through our 的rapy appointments. Being on this 自闭症的旅程有时可能会很孤单,并找到真正了解的人 what 您 are going through is important for 您r own sanity.
接触其他具有相似经历的人 旅程,交换故事,比较笔记,结交一些朋友 您在黑暗的地方,会理解并聆听。
有一些很棒的Facebook小组 与支持成员。我参与的一个团体是 自闭症的频谱生活。我可以拒绝其他成员的想法,寻求建议,虚拟 咖啡聊天,分享低谷,最重要的是分享胜利。
Tag, 您’re it!
在超级英雄总部,这确实是一支标签团队 我和爸爸超级英雄之间的努力。带L’的睡眠方式或缺乏 其中,我们将轮流与L保持清醒。否则我们将在 晚上如果我们需要睡觉。烹饪是团队合作的成果。如果一个人做了 it all, 的y 会’没有任何能量了。我真的不知道’t know how single parents survive.
如果 您 don’t have 一个y support 在 home, perhaps 您 could rope in a trusted friend 至 help occasionally. It 没有't have 至 be 每天晚上,也许每周一次,只为您度个夜晚。它 甚至可能每周请朋友为您做一顿饭。我不知道’t like asking for help 但 I have swallowed my pride in 的 past 一个d asked. I injured 我的脖子和几年前的时候,爸爸超级英雄不在工作。想要 to stretch my back, I laid on 的 tiled floor 一个d 的n could not for 的 life 我的人起来。 O取回了我的电话,然后给一个朋友打电话,谢谢Bec,他 not only brought Maccas for dinner 但 also bathed 的 little superheroes, got them dressed 一个d got 的m 至 bed.
如果 您 need 至 ask for help it does not mean that 您 虚弱,这意味着您坚强,因为您已经认识到可以’t do it all.
So tag, 您’re it!
我们的自闭症圣经
我将提供的下一条建议,以及 如果你不这样做的话’该系统已经到位,应该 the only piece of advice that 您 take from this post.

At 的 beginning of our Autism journey, we were given we 什么 we call our Autism Bible through 的 Autism Association. This is a 三环活页夹,以不同的标题分开。在这种活页夹中 与L和他的自闭症诊断有关。粘结剂有 L’的诊断记录,专家的来信,他的NDIS资助信息, L’的医疗信息,他的IEP副本,基本上是我们可能要做的任何事情 need 至 refer 至 when speaking 至 medical 一个d 的rapy professionals. In 的 back of 的 folder are pages 一个d pages of 的rapy information 一个d other sheets 至 give 至 teachers 一个d relatives. There is space 至 work out 的rapy expenses, card holders for all those business cards that 您 may acquire.
当我们有约会时,这本圣经就与我们同在。一世 no longer have folders everywhere, I have one folder. All 的 information is 放在一个容易找到的地方。
将所有信息合而为一是非常有意义的 place 但 it is not something that we thought of when going through 的 medical 一轮前到L’s 诊断.
I’自从添加了我们从他那里收到的信息以来 therapists 在 的 early intervention centre 一个d hospital records from when L 去年接受了紧急牙科手术(’s 一个other story!) L’s immunization records are in 的 file.
所有家庭绝对应该这样做 have.
最后,给我一些时间!
At 的 end of each day, make sure that YOU sit down 即使只有5到10分钟,也要放松。屏住呼吸,煮咖啡 如果需要,请阅读书中的一章,看电视。至关重要 that 您 take 的 time 至 have some time for 您.

什么’真的很重要,干净的一尘不染的房子还是 keeping 您r sanity?


I’d love 至 have a spotless clean house 但 的n I wouldn’我没有时间。是时候让我恢复自己的身份了。我的时间 做我喜欢做的事情。该给我充电了。
I find that when I do get 的 chance 至 sit down 一个d do nothing, I am a lot calmer afterwards. Calm is good remember!! Calm is 什么 we all need 至 aim for. When we are calm, our 儿童ren are calmer!
自理 is super important 一个d it 没有’t have 至 be completed. A day 在 的 spa would be great, 但 realistically I know that isn’t 每周都会发生。自我保健就像喝杯咖啡一样简单 coffee, reading a book, going for a walk 与 的 family, spending some time out in 的 garden, watching a show on TV, something that helps 您 至 relax.

您 need 至 look after 您rself before 您 can look 在你的家人之后如果您没钱了,您将无济于事 your family.

所以坐下,喝一杯,呼吸!